Saturday, December 31, 2005

make my cheesecake...it was a great job...everybody like it...saw a black skirt which i like...but din buy it in the end...tats all for today...

another one more day...n 2006 is coming...it hasnt been a great year for me...let me summarized it...

in the beginning of the year...got into the worse sch ever...BUT made really great friends...wei sian n the 2 huiyis...cant stand the sch environment...it sux like hell...pple sux there...food sux there...teacher sux there too...everything juz sux...quit the sch there...

got my Os results...den got into np accountacy...which is where i m now...made a great group of classmates...which i love them to the bits...during schooling...there r many ups n downs happen to me...which r too many to say it all...

recently...got virus in my laptop...got really troubled with friends...

haiz...i mis my sec sch days...after reading my god sis recent blog...i teared...how i miss my sech sch days...not much troubled like now...at least...i still can see my steph everyday...i can tell her all my problems...i still can talk to her...i miss her a lot...now...she is not with me...she is some where else...but she whenever she come back to sing...she always make an effort to call me...got so many things to tell her now...really a lot...
the second person i miss is my god sis...she is the another person whom i tell all my problems too...she is always there for me....no matter wat happens...she is one person i dun want to lose...she means to much to me...she is really like sis to me...now...due to some problems...we r not tat close anymore...n i m really very scare to lose her...i cant afford to lose her...

we meet lots of pple in our life...some good some bad...some make a deep impression to us...some we dun even rmb seeing them where...but there r some whom make a great impact at any one point of our life...treasure them...they r the one who mean a lot to u...maybe u dunno...but as time goes by...u will feel tat..."hey...i rmb her/him..she/he...blah blah..."tats when...u realise...how much u miss him or her...

i juz want to tell everyone of them tat..." i m really very thankful to have u guys in my life...u guys r the best...i hope u noe who u r...some of u maybe dun even noe i have a blog...is ok...but i truthfully want to thank u all...thanx for adding colour into my life...without u guys...my life will be like black n white...without u guys...i dun even noe i can survive till today...no matter u r a gal or a guy...i juz want to say...i love u guys...u guys really mean a lot to me...saying dis is not enough to show my gradititude to u guys...maybe as time goes by...when we r old...i still do hope tat we still can meet up...still do catching up here n there...still luagh how stupid we r in the past...i really hope we can do tat...lastly...THANK YOU!!!"

i juz want to say sorry...sorry for troubling u...dun worry...dis time...i m over n done with...dis time is for real...but i still do hope tat...we can be like before...i m sorry...really sorry...

Friday, December 30, 2005

had a really boring day yesterday...noting to do...cant study...nothing go inside my head...

another few more hours...going to make my cheesecake...den going chinatown with family...den at night going to my aunt house for dinner...

haiz...haven replied...hope everything is fine...

Thursday, December 29, 2005

haiz...it has been a rollarcoster ride for me...haiz...went to fix my preious...den feed in new norton thingy...den qurantine liao...den erm...i scan again...den all gone...so now...wat i m wondering is...whether all the thing is being deleted or is already spreading...i dunno...i want to fa feng liao...AHHH!!!...haiz...y m i so dao mei dis year???y???is anyone cursing me???please stop...i already damn dao mei already...please...i cant stand anyone of dis already...haiz...

fri going to make another cheesecake...hope it will be better...one more week to first test...haven really study...still left myob...half way...dreamweaver sfinish more than half...still cant figure how to add music n movie...den today juz noe need to do "flash"too...so many thing to do within so little time...haiz...lucky next week dun need to go sch..

finally one replied...left one more...i m worried...it has been days...dunno wat happen...hope everything is ok...

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

had a GREAT xmas party at elsa house...it would the most memorable xmas i ever had...i was at a rush on tat day...making the cheesecake n preparing stuffs...but finally reach her house...haha...waited for the rest to come...den played something like treaure hunt...haha...n many other game...over all...had a GREAT TIME there...loves all the presents...THANX GUYS ALL U PRESENTS!!!give u all a BIG WET KISS...MUACK!!!

haiz...still worry...worry tat he is angry with me...haiz...how???i din mean to do tat...i m juz worry...heard tat all went home already...haiz...

another 4 more days to 2006...really hope it come faster...want 2006 to pass faster...though 2005...made a GREAT lot of friends...LOVE them to the bits...hope u noe who u r...but...lots of many unhappy things happens...haiz...juz read someone blogs...juz felt wat she said is really true...haiz...sorry dis is one of my another sad post again...juz tat...din have a great day today...was all alone at home...

everybody is juz leaving me...i m scare...i m scare one day...i have no one...i m scare i m alone...

Sunday, December 25, 2005

MERRY XMAS TO ALL!!!

had a great time with my MI friends...had a great time with them...haha...do a little catch up here n there...especially with my lovely wei sian...hehe...we exchange present too...haha...i hope LHY like my present...haha...i like her present...is so cute...muaha...

another 16 more hours to xmas party at elsa house!!!muaha...cant wait!!!...gonna be fun!!!

haiz...i think i disappoint another person again...sorry...

Saturday, December 24, 2005

wat has happen???is it my fault???i dunno...maybe i m not as good as before...haiz...maybe i have change...n pple may not like it...i dunno wat to say den...

funny isnt it...y my blog always so depressing???dun u all find it funny???i myself also dunno...

tml...which is another 12 more hours frm now...i m going to meet my first 3 months MI friends...cant wait to see them...especially...my lovely wei sian...she is my one n only closee buddy in my first 3 months...we dislike n like the same things...other her...still got the 2 huiyis...hehe...

another one more day to my class first xmas party!!!cant wait!!!MUAHA!!!

Friday, December 23, 2005

has dis come to an end of our friendship???haiz...i really dunno...i still want to cherish dis friendship...dun wish to lose a friend like u...

haiz...2006 plz be here soon...i had enough of 2005...

haiz...watever i do or say juz disappoint everyone...haiz...juz think tat...i disappoint pple around me...haiz...first n for most...i disappoint my god sis...haiz...it is a long story...dis year isnt a great year for our friendship...our friendship now is like as unstable as a ship in a stormy sea...we r like drifting apart...no longer as close as ever already...a few things here n there makes our friendship even more unstable...haiz...i think i m no longer the good sister anymore...i think now she is happy with her friends...
haiz...is like whoever was once so bloody damn close to me...is now so far away frm me...juz want to say sorry for those who i disappointed...

now i juz want to cherish those friends who r by my side...eve...my 2 stephs...janice...crystal...elsa...yc...daven...gloria...these r the pple who r always there for me no matter wat happens...they mean a lot to me...they really pull me through all my difficult times...juz so lucy to have them...

Thursday, December 22, 2005

went to eat "paris" with family today...eat until damn full...haha...tats all for today...haha

haiz...den i receive a bad news frm my friend...the thing is cancel...i m damn shocked n piss...wat the fuck manz...y even we have the thing...haiz...dun want to organise any other outing already...haiz...i understand how my friend feel...after he talk to me...haiz...wat happen manz...

i will like to mention someone here...he use to "bully" me in my sec sch days...but he is like a great big bro to me...whenever i m sad or get bullied he will be there for me...the guy is lee yoo han...now he is in korean...he will be back next year around feb or march...haiz...miss him A LOT!!!haiz...got soo many things to tell him...muz go out with him when he come back...

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

i want to thanx yc...steph...crystal for making day today...wasnt feeling too good yesterday...met stpeh n yc first...den we walked from one place to another...looking high n low for "my" the "chicken little" soft toy...den at the same time...yc also looking for "chicken little" soft toy for his sis too...we went sooooo many places...they only got the "alien" soft toy...den finally we went to John Little den saw it...but it wasnt wat yc n i want...but he bought it in the end for his sis...in case we din see any other wan...den crystal came to meet us too...den we continue walking...we laughed a lot too...haven been laughing so much dis few days...den i went home first...

oh ya before i met yc n steph...i was at home looking through all the photo album with my mum...bro n sis...we look through all the photos which we took when we r overseas...it is really nice...lokking at old photos...reminding of the past...haha...

now...i dunno whether to believe ot not to believe...i m tired...can someone help me???

Monday, December 19, 2005

dis year is not a good year for me...juz wan it to past it faster...juz want to end dis year faster...nothing goes rite foe me dis year...nothing...not even one...feel so damn dao mei...dunno...

i start to understand when things doesnt belong to u...it really doesnt belong to u...no matter how hard u try to get it...it still wun belong to u...i totally understand wat it means now...juz want to run away from reality...but it seems so hard...it took so long...now???how long could dis be???i feel so tired...

y m i always having dis...y cant i have a nice wan???y cant i have a nice n pleasent year for once???y???i feel tat i no longer have those energry anymore...i m not like last time...no longer...i become weaker...or maybe worse...y do i feel so sour so easily???y???i wish i could be like my steph...get out of here...i want to get out of here...get out of dis unpleasent place...

i had enough...really enough...when dis coulg end???when???another 3 years???y always toture me???y always making my life like a fool???i dun understand...

i wish i could have tat dream n never wake again...i would rather leave in my dreams...

Sunday, December 18, 2005

juz kill me plz...leaving in dis state is not a good thing...i hate being like tat...i hate...haiz...nvm...no one understands...it is so painful...i thought i can do dis...but i found out tat...i cant...i no longer have those type of energry...feel like getting out of here...

hao xiang kao zai ren he ren de jian bang tong ku yi zhang...zher ge lei yi jing ren le hen jiu...

yesterday which is friday...went out with steph...crystal...li ching n janice...went to eat galilee...afterwards...janice left...den the rest went walk walk...after tat...crystal left...so left me...steph...li ching...we went to spotlight...coz i have to get 3 presents...so i thought of DIY...bought 2 candle holders...den we all went home liao...tats for friday...

today...went to sch early in the morning juz to participate in the human domino...under hot sun somemore...haiz...after tat me...eve...steph...crystal...li ching...yc n jk went to clementi to eat brunch...den elsa came...as she have to go airport...which she din make it for her flight(long story)...but is ok...i noe elsa cant bare to be apart with us...muaha...den we spend time is airport...talk...den went to eve house to play mahjiong...haiz...talking abt mahjiong...i dun have the luck dis few weeks...have been losing...i din even win today...really...din even win once for the "dong" fong...wha...haiz...

dis coming week pact...monday not free...tues going to watch movie with family...wed going to eat buffet with family...thurs n fri with sec sch friends...sat with first 3 mths MI friends...sun n mon with my lovely class TA29...celebrating xmas...muaha...den the next week study study study...haiz...

wo zhen de heng xiang ta...xiang dao wo kai yao feng le...

Friday, December 16, 2005

now in eve house...staying over at her house...haha...went to eat my gan ban mien n nasi lamak...haha...den went to watch "The Promise"...haha...very nice...want to watch again...saw my big chicken little soft toy...haiz...want to have it...haiz...tats my Xmas wish for dis year...

haiz...dunno wat happen...suddenly like...dunno how to say...

haiz...how i wish...

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

haiz...mugging FFA in the proceess...after tml...can at least leave FFA out...hehe...cant wait or next week...so many thing going to happen next week...juz hope tat everything goes well...if not...haiz...dunno...

haiz...talkig abt next week...have to buy 3 different xmas gifts...haiz...going to be damn damn broke...where can i find all the money in such a short time????no POSB card...so cant take money out...juz hope tat...my mummy give me money during the 2 weeks breaks...really hope...haha...

miss him...

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

nothing happen on sunday...it was a boring...the whole day study n study for today's bus statistic test...haiz...

finally bus statistic is over...haha...it was ok...at least can do can liao...muaha...left FFA n micro...haiz...FFA...dunno larhz...muaha...

haiz...have been having real bad dreams dis few days...dreams which i dun want it to happen...haiz...

everything happens for a reason
n maybe the situation now happens for a reason
maybe it will affect the future???
or may all dis happens becoz of fate...
i hope the reason is good

though i hope everything will go my way
but sometimes i think
it all happens for a reason

i cant help to wonder my mind off
i cant help when i start thinking of the impossible
i cant help when i start to cry
again
it all happen for a reason

i want to noe wat is the reason
i m going crazy
i m going insane
i m scare i cant control myself...

AHHH!!!!

Sunday, December 11, 2005

went to celebrate my dad's one day later birthday...went to town...den ate din tai fong...haha...den later went shopping...which i did not buy anything back...haiz...saw so many things tat i like...

haiz...mon is bus statistic liao...sianz...so many things haven done yet...jap hmk...jap quiz...den still have to study for bus stattistic n ffa...cant afford to do badly...really...muz get my phone...muaha...

haiz...so bored..nothing to do...tml muz study liao...sianz...

Saturday, December 10, 2005

haha...today was a great day...muaha...i juz finish eating my dad's birthday cake...which i bought for him...ain't i such a good daughter???muaha...den later also eat zi ma hu...which my mum bought...muaha...VERY NICE!!!haha...

wha...have so much fun during our second 2 hours break...acutally is more than 2 hours...is 2 n 1/2 hours...haha...den me...eve...steph...janice...crystal..elsa...li ching...vivien...yc...jk went to the convection center there to spend our 2 n 1/2 hour break...muaha...we had SOOOOOO much FUN...haha...we did so many things there...we played the trusted friendship thingy...the spider thingy...n soo many more...wha...we should go there more often...n the place is not hot at all...muaha...

tml go n eat zhu jiao...muaha...haiz...should i go eat zhu jiao with family or go study with steph they all...haiz...i no many liao...spend it all on my dad's cake...muaha...how???haha...

bogoshipda

Friday, December 09, 2005

first...i juz want to say sorry...i think those who noes...noes wat i mean...really sorry forwat happen today...

i met my pri sch friend...so happy to see the 2 of them...first went orchard to meet one of them...den went to heeren to take neo print...den eat old changki...coz i haven eat lunch...den bought some octopus thing n soring roll(my fav!!!)...den we went to bishan to look for my another pri sch friend...den took a bus to thomsan to eat ice cream with waffle n chocolate huo guo!!!WHA!!!damn nice n kind of cheap...$10.90...2 person can eat until fulll...muaha...den we talked n talked...den went separate ways...muaha...

i realise how busy m i during the 2 weeks holidays...22 n 23 dec going out with sec sch friend...den 24th go to my granny house celebrate christmas eve...den 25th going to elsa house celebrate christmas!!!haha...dis is the first time celebrating christmas with classmates...think will be fun!!!haha..cant wait...

i still cant get over him...haiz...juz kill me larhz...is he the correct wan???y i keep ....... haiz...

Thursday, December 08, 2005

am i happy now?
no

am i happy with the things i have now?
no

am i happy with the life i have now?
no

i love this song...R U HAPPY NOW?

Now, don't just walk away
Pretending everything's okay
And you don't care about me
I know it's just no use
When all your lies become your truth
sAnd I don't care
yeah yeah yeah
ChorusCould you look me in the eye
And tell me that you're happy now?
Would you tell it to my face?
Or have I been erased
Are you happy now?
You took all there was to take
And left me with an empty plate
And you don't care about it, yeah
And I am giving up this game
And leaving you with all the blame
'Cause I don't care
yeah yeah yeah
Could you look me in the eye
And tell me that you're happy now? yeah
Would you tell it to my face
Or have I been erased
Are you happy now?Are you happy now?
Are you happy now?
Do you really have everything you want?
You can never give something you ain't got
You can't run away from yourself
ChorusCould you look me in the eye?
And tell me that your happy now?
come on tell to my face
or have i been erased
Are you happy now?
would you look me in the eye?
could you look me in the eye?
I've had all that I can takeI'm not about to break
'Cause I'm happy now
Are you happy now?

finaly i noe how to do FFA...n i did it all by myself...i feel happy for myself...haha...

went to eat sceret recipe today with eve...crystal n elsa...haha...we ordered marble cheese cake...baked cheese cake...banana choco cake... n brownie with ice-cream...haha...eat until very full...haha...finally can eat nice nice cheesecake...hehe...

wha...the person really going to make me explode...all the person now how to do is i think arguing n talking back...haiz...crystal juz reminded me tat...the person juz did very little things...den we both conclude tat all the person did was to open the mouth...haha...sorry if i sound very mad or wat...but tat is exactlly wat happen...haiz...finally all the project can say finish???

din manage to continue my dream yesterday night...haiz...its only a dream ya...haiz...feel like ...... i should continue with the korean show n ... ... . ....

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

FINALLY!!! CATS is done...not really done acutally...left only marketing scanning which will be done tml...haiz...finally all the projects can say all r over!!!haha...i m so glad...dis sem project not fun wan...miss last sem wan *read my previous blog*...haha...wha...i really felt like banging my head o the wall manz...she really like ask like qian bian questions...wha...like how to rate products...WHA!!!...i was like WTF...like dis also dunno...den still want to say our final idea ot novelty enough...WHA!!!really cant tahan manz!!! kanina...haiz...sorry to use dis type of language...but i cant help it...haiz...

i had just the most amazing dream...really very sweet...i really really really wish it could happen...but the funny thing is that...i told myself tat i m dreaming in the dream...really...dis dream is like too good to be true...BUT i really want to say it tat..how good if the dream really come true...tat day will be the HAPPIEST DAY IN MY LIFE!!!really...will be the happiest day of my life...r should i say...if the dream happens...everyday will be HAPPIEST DAY!!!...haha...how i wish manz...seriously...i was really suprise tat i dreamt of the dream...coz i never dream of the person before...haha...

hope i can dream this dream again...or even better continue the dream (which is not possible)...muaha...

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

now is 12.26 am... 6th dec...tuesaday

still doing CATS...finish my part for CIP...later still can tong going to find more software...haiz...doing project alone is no fun...miss those times when they came to my house to WCOM...so fun but yet we really do wat we have to do...haiz...really miss those times...now...have to do project alone...stay up alone...haiz...

sorry if u keep seeing "haiz"...i m in the "haizing" mood...dunno...maybe it is i saw someone online???haiz...regreted asking...really regreted...dunno now even friends or not...haiz...how stupid m i...haiz...going mad sooner or later...but it is over...i m over him...n i wun regret anymore...

wo xing mei you ren chi dao wo zai jiang shi ma...bu gou mei guan xi...wo chi dao jiu hao le...haiz...hao xing ta...
wo kan ru gao you ren zai kan...yi ding hua gan dao hen mao dun...mie guan xi...wo chi dao jiu hao le...bu xing rang da jia kan sou wo zhe ge gan jue...

Sunday, December 04, 2005

now is actually 11.08pm...the blog dun let me adjust the time...hmph...

haha...juz finish watching star award...muaha...everyone so pretty!!!haha...haiz...y felicia chin din get into top 10...but at least...bai wei xiu n jenette ow get into top 10...muaha...

today was the funniest day i had...haha...went to yanling's event...was reallly fun...running around in town...it was my first time...running in town like a crzy gal...haha...ut most of all...it is damn fun!!!me...elsa...steph n crystal was in a group...haha...it is really fun larhz...haha...

then afterwards...pei elsa...steph...crystal...yc n jk find formal wear...then later went home...waiting for my dinner...i only had CARRORT JUICE for lunch...isnt it heathly???haha...drink until damn full...drank hlf of it...haha...den dinner i ate my lovely satay beehoon...muaha...den also ate stingray n satay!!!muaha...i think i gain back all the fats tat i lose during in the noon...haha...but nvm...haha...

haiz...tml is OCOM presentation liao...haven memorise my speech...den i haven do my jap hmk...study for jap quiz...half way done with my CIP...AHHH!!! so many things to do within so little time...haiz...sianz...

bogoshippo...

haiz...so bored today...realise another 2 more weeks is my first common test liao...sianz manz...haha...wat to do...haiz...have to start to pai liao...really have to get good results...if not no samsung flip phone...haha...

my daddy going taiwan liao...ask him to buy tie dan...tai yang bing...n the red bean thing tat elsa brought from taiwan...haha...wha...how to lose fat like tat...haha...cant resist good food ma...muaha...

tml going for yanling thing...hope it is fun???haha...

haiz...so bored now...juz saw steph blog...sianz...have to wear long sleeve collared top for the presentation...den have to wear heeled sandals...haiz...sianz manz...

I M BORED!!!

haiz...waiting is not a good thing...but...i dunno if i should let go...my mind keep in asking 'wat if"...haiz...how???

Saturday, December 03, 2005

yesterday din post...nothing to post also...not my day yesterday...haiz...haha...din noe how to ffa class work...so stress manz...how m i going to get C n above for ffa???haiz...dunno how larhz...but muz get...cant get anything lower than C for all the common tests...or else no new phone...haiz...how???somone help me!!!

k...lets talk something happier...today went to else house for steamboat...but den in the end dun have...haha...but nvm...we enjoy our dinner...eat until very full...k...after our micro tutorial...we went to elsa house straight...the "we" consist of...me...eve...steph...crystal...yc n jk...haha...once we reached to elsa house...wha...yc immediately go n get the mahjiong table...haha...den after setting up...me...crystal...eve n jk started playing...play n play...play until...eve n i very depress...din win...though i won a 3 to 4 times...but later keep losing...haiz...haha...but nvm larhz...haha...but hor...jk mahjiong skill getting better...haha...all his "tai" all very nive wan...haha...if not for my dear eve n my class pple(those who love to play mahjiong)...i never will get the chance to know how to play...haha...eve taught me...the first time i played mahjiong was in her house...haha...tat is how i started to love mahjiong...so whenever those frequent players going to have mahjiong session...will ask them if can some along...haha...

wha i really love my class a lot!!!MUAHA!!!haha...

haiz...still missing him...i dreamt of him y esterday night...

Thursday, December 01, 2005

haha...today is a really nice day...went out first with yc and jk at jurong point...den later we go taka to meet steph...haha...yc went to buy his formal wear...den steph bought nail polish...i bought too...haha...it was nice spending money...haha...

i want to buy ladies shoes!!!i saw today in heeren!!! $29.99...haha...so many shoe lehz...haha...i still want to buy cosmetics...haha...

it is nice spending money when i dun feel good...haha...cant always do tat often...haha...OH YA!!! we went to eat swentsen ice cream...haha...but want a lot of money...so money things to buy!!!haha...never ending...haha...

i still do miss him...how???haiz...wat m i going to do???...haiz...y m i like tat...i hate myself being like...y???i still miss him...i still like him...haiz...dunno y...i feel sorry for myself...it sound weird...but ya...

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